Wednesday, September 22, 2010

whose agenda?

Today I am trying to resign myself (again..and again...) that my agenda is not more powerful than God's agenda for me, my life, and for the lives of those I know and love.  Yes, I know: God is all powerful.  Why should my selfish agenda take precedence over his great good plan?  It shouldn't, of course.  It's just a hard lesson that I have to learn over and over.  Case in point:  I have been trying for about a month to get my daughter, who is a kindergartner, involved in Daisy Girl Scouts.  This seems a trivial thing, but has started to take more time and effort than I had ever thought.  I have asked around. I have sent emails.  To no avail.  But here's the thing:  my little girl doesn't know the difference.  I have been doing this, I realize, more for me, and my memories of scouting as a girl, than I have been doing it for her.  And as the door to this opportunity just doesn't seem to be opening for me (note: me not her), I am just now, today, starting to let go the idea of this activity for her, now, this year.  Will the opportunity open later? Only God knows (and He does!). 

Which brings me to the issue of kid's involvement in activities outside school. How much? Where? At what age?  I know this has been debated time and time again; the answer is different for each family.  What is good for us? What will build character in my kids? What will they enjoy? And yes, my kids are little.  2 1/2 and 5. You might say, there's lots of time to figure it out. And there is.  But (again with MY personal agenda) I want to know. Now.

So what's the answer? Well, for now, I'm going to knock on just a few more "doors" to the scouting thing. And I'm going to reevaluate whether we need another activity, and how tired my kindergartner really is every night.  And I'm going to pray. A lot. Until I regain a sense of perspective: my agenda must ALWAYS submit to God's agenda for me.  And the funny thing is, His agenda truly is ALWAYS better. 

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