learning to do nothing

Today was the first day in a long time that there was nothing on our calendar. Nothing. And so, of course, I started dreaming up ideas to fill it up: Smithsonian visits, the zoo, local playgrounds, finding a beach, and so on and so on. My kids are teaching me a lesson today. They slept in (bliss!), had late breakfasts, lounged around watching a TV show in pajamas, and then proceeded to start in on daily fun: family room tents made of blankets and sheets, playing pet shop and making rabbit homes from our wooden blocks (for stuffed animal rabbits, not real ones!). They did so all morning.

Pretty soon, I realized that there was absolutely no interest in going anywhere. And thus we stayed. I opened the windows and turned off the air conditioning, to enjoy a clear day in the 80's, a wonderful break before tomorrow's forecasted 100F.  I finished a book I was reading, did some laundry and cleaned a bathroom. We had lunch. We spent an hour in the pool, and off to quiet time/nap time they went and are still. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"The years are short, the days are long." I've heard it along this parenting journey. And today I hope was a "long day" in my kids memories...long because it was filled with good, clean fun. With relaxing. With no schedules to meet, no errands that mommy must do now, no tasks that fill the hours. Just being. Being together. Being kids and enjoying summer.

A few weeks ago, I was pointed to an article on NYTimes.com, "The 'busy' trap". I hope you will read it. It has reminded me of the life I want, for myself, for my children. For our family. It doesn't matter whether we live in a city, on a farm, in a suburb or in some exotic locale. We can live an authentic, joyful life right where we are. I am trying not to fall into the busy trap.

virginia vacation, part 1 (5.17.12)

Hello! I've so much to tell about our four days in the "Historic Triangle" of Virginia, I'm going to split up the posts some. We left last Thursday for a mini-vacation, some learning, some fun. Between Jamestown, Williamsburg and Busch Gardens, I think we each learned several valuable lessons and perhaps a little history.

Lessons I learned included:

• don't hesitate to linger in places where the kids are engaged and happy. Making clay pots with a Powhatan Indian reenactor or rolling hoops with a stick leave a lasting impression! 
• interactive exhibits are much more interesting to mommy and to kids than displays and placards. don't worry if you skip some of the "educational material" and go straight for the active stuff.
• think twice...no, think three or more times, before taking kids on an amusement park ride that might be scary. Whoops. Still hearing about the "Dark Castle" days later. 
• down time is important! Especially for young kids. Oh, and mommy too. I think daddy held up ok. We did a lot, and by the end of the trip we were whooped. Must remember this one when we go to Colorado for 9 days!
• as my brother once taught us, "Feed the bear!" Grouchy people are often hungry people. Stop for a snack or move mealtime if whining and grumpiness start up.

Enough of the lessons. On to the photos! Our first day in Virginia we went to Historic Jamestown, and then up the road to Jamestown Settlement, which is a recreation of James Fort and the Powhatan village. Your history refresher is this: Jamestown was the first permanent English settlement in North America.  Lots of talk of Pocahontas, Captain John Smith, and a lot of dead people. Because dead people are fascinating to kids, and the reality is, lots of people died in those first years at Jamestown.

Captain John Smith

Birthplace of Virginia and the U.S.A.

Walking with Pocahontas

Modeling 17th century Armor

Happy boy on a cannon, right before we got yelled at by an employee for climbing!

Abord the Susan Constant, also seen below

learning to discipline...and be disciplined

After being a Mama for 5 1/2 years now, I feel like I should have been prepared.  Prepared with consequences, and the right words, so that I would sail through this confidently.  Instead as I am faced with disciplining my oldest this week, I feel like I'm learning right along side of her.  I'm not going to embarrass her with details all over the web, I'll just say that the punishment decided upon was this:  no activities for 4 days.  no television for 4 days.  apology letters to those involved.  and handwriting practice ("I will not...<insert behavior>").  I do believe that she realizes the seriousness of her "crime". 

That was yesterday.  So then comes today, and already I have dealt with kids hitting each other two separate times, and a play time outside cut short due to blatant disobedience.  Sigh.  I should not be surprised.  I understand the concept of SIN.  Its that pull of SELF above all other considerations.  The kids demonstrate it so easily for me...and then I am faced with my own sinful self.  For the reality is, I have that SELF issue too.  ("For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" --Romans 3:23)  Wanting MY way without regard to others, or to God's will.  Wanting time for mySELF, at the expense of other commitments and other people.  We are all born into this world with that drive for SELF foremost in us.  And, lets call it what it is: SIN.

But we also have GRACE.  Grace is unearned.  It is pardon for my wrongdoing, and a restoring of relationship.  I have received grace from God, through Christ whom I have faith died for ME.  And as such, I am also called to extend grace to others.  I extend grace through forgiving my children when they are misbehaving, and loving them through the process.  It doesn't mean that I won't discipline them.  God certainly disciplines me, letting me reap the consequences of poor choices I make, teaching me over and over the lessons I stubbornly refuse to learn.  And so I discipline my children, teaching them (I hope) about SIN, and consequences, but also about GRACE.  And how grace truly does cover them, restoring their relationship with their mama, and with God.  We pray together, and little by little, we learn. 

May Grace be with you, today, too.

{lesson of the week}

Not a new lesson, and not original, but a good one nonetheless:  Favorite books truly are like old friends, where the friendship picks right up when you meet again, no matter if days or years have gone by since you last met. 

This week I've been renewing my friendship with Emily of New Moon, by L. M. Montgomery (of Anne of Green Gables fame).  It remains a favorite year after year, and as I get older, I find more depth and meaning in it than I did as a child.  I feel a true kinship with little Emily Byrd Starr, and am so thankful for Ms. Montgomery's talent and words. What books are like old friends to you?

{lesson of the week}

I am reminded that how good or bad a day turns out to be has more to do with my attitude and less to do with my circumstances.  Yesterday started off terribly with my daughter in hysterics at the bus stop over being accidentally splashed with mud, and continued on with one unpleasant moment after another, until mid-morning, when I posted on Facebook, "Today will get better from this moment on!"  And it did.  Of course cooking some comfort food (pumpkin dessert cake, and chicken tetrazini), cuddling on the sofa with my boy and his books, and an evening with friends at homegroup  all helped. 

Choose to be happy!

{lesson of the week}

The amount of time needed to deal with paperwork (school papers, mail, magazines, bills, etc.)  increases proportionally to how long ago that paperwork arrived in our house.  Not my favorite chore, but necessary.  I'm working on dealing with it more promptly....but I'm a slow learner!

{lesson of the week}

This week I am remembering that I am most productive when I am working from a well-crafted list, detailed almost down to minutiae, divided into categories.  Organized, I am frequently not.  But I make a great list!

{lesson of the week}

This weeks lesson comes from the little guy:  the tail pipe of the car is hot if you touch it! (especially if you've just gotten home from being out).   He sported a nice big blister on the tip of his thumb most of the week.

{lesson of the week}

This week's lesson is that if you are taking muscle relaxants and lots of pain medication, you should probably not be blogging, as it may be incomprehensible.  I will hopefully be rejoining you in the next few days, as my back starts to heal (just a muscle strain) and I stop taking so many pills. See you soon!

{lesson of the week}

This week we learned...that if you buy ice cream at the school cafeteria, and run out of time to eat it, it is not a good idea to put it in your lunchbox to bring home for later!  The backpack and lunchbag will smell sweetly of cotton candy flavored icecream (!) for a long time, I think.